Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
