just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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