Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
