You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
