I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
