he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just googled if crying burns calories
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
