You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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