its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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