So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
