how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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