idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
