I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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