I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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