like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
