I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
