i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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