covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
