you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
