You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
