How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
