TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
