your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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