The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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