on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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