I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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