I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
