I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
