Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just pee around me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
