I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
