i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
