so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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