Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
