ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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