I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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