Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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