i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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