When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
