Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
