My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
