i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
3 2 1 whiskey
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I need to align my fucking chakras
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
