how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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