I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
