Define "chronic" masturbator.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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