I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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