I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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