im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
