so explain again why im purple
no
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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