Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
