your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
