bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
