mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
