I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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