Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
