so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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