ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
