I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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