idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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