Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize