I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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