I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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