Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
