youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
