he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize